RussiaXReader Happiness

RussiaXReader Happiness

Everyone is scared of me… everyone. I'm alone… I don't know what to do. Should I smile and pretend everything is okay?... Yes, that's what I think I'll do.

     "This is where you live?" you asked the Lithuanian with wide eyes. The mansion he lived in was huge, it was positively wonderful. Toris laughed softly and rubbed the back of his head. "It really is a nice place, it's just that Ivan isn't the most pleasant person to live with," Toris admitted and watched as you admired the place. You blinked in surprise at the mention of the Russian, Toris didn't mention him often but when he did, it wasn't usually nice things. "I'm sure he isn't that bad…" you said with a frown. Toris had never allowed you to meet Ivan; in fact he seemed to fear the Russian he lived with. You didn't understand why he would live with someone that he feared, you trusted your best friend's judgment for the most part. "I should probably go inside," Toris said and glanced towards the house nervously, he didn't want Russia coming out here and seeing you. You were about to nod your head but got distract by yellow that you saw out of the corner of your eyes. "Are those sun flowers?!" you ask cheerfully. Lithuania followed your gaze and laughed softly. "Yes, Ivan loves sun flowers so he started his own garden of them. I'm not exactly sure why they are his favorite. He even liked them as a child, or so I'm told," Toris explained and shook his brown hair out of his face. You bounced up and down on the balls of your feet, wanting to get a closer look. Toris knew that look on your face. "Oh no, ___, you can't be thinking that… no," he said and shook his head furiously. You looked over at your best friend and pouted, knowing he couldn't stand when you pouted. He covered his eyes with his hands so that he wouldn't agree with you. Slowly he peeked out between his fingers to see you still pouting. "Fine, but only a really quick peek," he said with a defeated sigh. Slowly he opened the front gate and peered around to make sure that the other Baltic Nations and Russia weren't around. "Okay, let's go," he said and led you around the house and to the back of the mansion. Toris tip-toed while you simply walked along behind him towards the garden. Once he stopped at the garden, you gasped in shock. "It's like an ocean of sun flowers, there are so many!" you say in awe.  The Lithuanian chuckled at your excitement and examined the garden, it wasn't so amazing to him since he saw it every day.  You carefully walk closer to the flowers and smiled, some were even taller than you. Ivan really did take care of them. "I promise I won't go far, only a couple steps in," you promised Toris and looked over your shoulder at him. He looked nervous once again but gave you a small smile. You took five steps into the garden and you were already surrounded by sunflowers. A giggle escaped your lips and gently you pushed onto of the taller sunflowers aside. You blinked in surprise to see a man crouched down. Ivan gently covered the seed back up with dirt. "Who are you?" he asked without glancing in your direction. You weren't sure how to describe the man. He had grayish-blonde hair, and just by looking at him crouching that he is a very tall person. "_-___, I think I should go inside now and that you should go home," Toris called from outside the garden, not able to see you or the Russian. Now Ivan looked over at you, his purple eyes studying you carefully. "So your name is ___," he said and smiled. The smile wasn't a friendly one but it wasn't an unfriendly one either, you weren't what to think. "And your Ivan?" you asked, already knowing the answer. He stood upright and adjusted the scarf that rested around his neck, he nodded. Because of his height, he could see over all the sunflowers. Toris blinked in surprise and gasped when he saw Russia in the garden. "Lithuania, your friend here will be having a chat with me before she leaves," he said and smiled. 'Again with that odd smile?' you thought. You watched as Russia walked out of the sunflowers and slowly followed along. 'Now I see why Toris is scared of him… he's so hard to read. I don't know what he is thinking or how he feels, it's kind of startling' you thought and smiled when you stepped back out of the garden. "You have wonderful sunflowers," you told Ivan who was staring at your best friend. The Russian glanced at you then over at his sunflowers. "Da, Krasivaya," he replied quietly. He then looked at Lithuania again who was shaking in fear. "Come ___," he said and led you into the house, leaving Lithuania with the sunflowers.

     The inside of the house was just as beautiful and neat as the outside had been. You were surprised that a mansion this big could be kept so neat. Russian led up stairs to his office, he shut the door behind the two of you before sitting at his desk. "Sit," he said and you quickly obeyed. You were sure there were other reasons Lithuania was fearful of the man and you didn't want to know what they were. Now you lean forward a bit and study Ivan's childlike face. "Why do you like sunflowers so much?" you asked curiously, not giving him the chance to talk about whatever he had brought you in for. He blinked and considered your questions. "Why..?" he wondered, he didn't have an answer. This caused you to frown. "Yes, why? There has to be some reason you love them so much. Do you just think they are pretty? Do they make you happy? Did someone important give one to you?" you persisted, trying to figure out the man who sat across from you.

Happy? What is it like to be happy? That feeling his hard to comprehend, Da?

Flashback:
     "Ivan, I brought a surprise for you!" a female voice told him happily. Russia looked up from the puzzle he had been working on and smiled. "What kind of surprise?" he asked and stood. Ivan rewrapped the scarf around his neck and ran over to the woman. "Close your eyes," she instructed. Slowly the Russian closed his purple eyes. He opened his right eye a tiny bit. "No! Don't peek," the woman scolded. Ivan laughed softly and covered both of his eyes with his hands so that the woman knew that he really wasn't peeking. He frowned when something brushed against his nose, now he inhaled deeply. "What is that smell?" he asked curiously. He peeked out at the woman and what she held out in her hand. "Ivan, this is a sunflower. Sunflowers can symbolize both loyalty and happiness," she said and gently placed the brightly colored flower in his hand. Ivan smiled and gently ran his fingers over the petals of the flower. "It's wonderful Mom," he squealed and hugged the woman. She laughed and gently patted the top of his head. "No one will be able to take your happiness away Ivan, remember that.
End of flashback.


     "Ivan.. you look kind of pale, are you okay?" you asked. His purple eyes met your own ___ colored ones. "I'm told sunflowers symbolize happiness and make others happy," he said. This didn't answer your question though, you wanted to know why 'he' liked the sunflowers. You make a face at the Russian. "Do they make 'you' happy?" you asked. Ivan turned away from you so that he could look out the window at the sunflowers. He had blocked out most of his unhappy memories, but sometimes like today, they resurfaced.

Flashback:
     "Mom?" Ivan called when returning from school that day, it had been his first day of kindergarten. His mom had promised to wait outside on the porch for when he got home but she was nowhere to be seen. A frown crossed his face and he ran into the house. "Mom?" he repeated and set his backpack aside. Still no sign of his mother, this frightened him, his mother never broke her promises to him. The last place he considered was the garden, maybe she was working so hard out there that she had lost track of time. This brought a smile on Ivan's face, mom was always so dedicated to their sunflower garden. Quickly he ran over to the back door and pulled it open. "Mom?" he called and looked around. His eyes widened to see red liquid splatters all over the fun flowers, very slowly he approached the garden. "Mommy? Why is there red stuff all over the place? Mom.. are you sleeping? Why are you sleeping on the sunflowers?" he asked quickly. His mother didn't twitch. He sat down by his mom and gently moved her hair out of her face. 'I'll just wait till she wakes up and surprise her' Ivan thought, ignoring the red liquid that had now gotten on his scarf. 'I'll just wait' he repeated.
End of flashback.


     "I don't know," Ivan said finally. He shook his head to rid it of the childhood memory. "Well I like them because they make me smile," you tell him. A smile crossed his face, the same indifferent smile from before. "Toris!" he shouted, knowing your friend was standing on the other side of the door. Lithuania jumped at the sound of his name and quickly entered the room. "Y-Yes?" he sputtered and looked between you and Russia. Ivan glanced at you. "Go get ___ a snack and tea," he instructed the Baltic Nation, you'd be staying for a while. Lithuania nodded and left at the same quick speed he had used to enter the room. The door shut with a 'click' behind him. Ivan turned his attention back to you, for some reason you had a different impact on him than the others did, he felt like he could talk to you. "I used to like them," he admitted finally. 'Used to?' you thought, getting confused.

Flashback:
     "I can't do anything! All he does is sit in his room all day when he doesn't have school! He refuses to come out!" a male voice snapped outside of Ivan's room. Ivan had learned to block out the yelling, not just the yelling but the whole world. Someone else was yelling at his father. "Well, you can't allow that! All he does is hold that bloody flower and sit in the room you have him. You have to actually take care of him. I know that she was your ex-wife but this is still your child and he needs love, which you are not giving him," the other voice snapped. The Russian looked down at the sunflower in his hand, gently he stroked the petals. "Mommy will wake up," he told the flower. He looked up and around, examining the world around him. His father had come and taken him, he now sat in a room that was empty and white. No paint on the walls, not furniture, just him and his sunflower. "It's been years, all he does is look at me when I walk in the room, eat, go to school, and do what is necessary. All he does is survive," his father shouted at the person. It wasn't like he was trying very hard to help Russia, he actually hated his son just as much as his wife, he was glad she was gone. There was no response to what his father had said, instead the door of his room opened and a man stepped inside. "Hello Ivan," the stranger said. Ivan nodded in response and gave him an indifferent smile. He looked down at the flower in his hand. The man let out a small sigh. "Is there anything I can do for you? Your room is looking kind of dull… would you like to paint it?" the man asked, trying to get the teenager to say something. Now Ivan moved his purple eyes about, from the wall then to the man. "Yes," he answered after a moment. This caused the man to smile. "Good, what color would you like?" he asked and slowly sat down beside the teen. Ivan rested a gloved hand against the wall thoughtfully. "Yellow, brown, blue, green.. white," he listed. The man frowned but pulled out his wallet and counted out how much money he had. He groaned, this would use up all of his money that he had on him. "Okay Ivan Braginski," the man agreed before standing and leaving.

     "How's your son been doing?" the man asked Ivan's father. The man looked up from the newspaper and glared at him. "He's been painting, he said one thing to me today. 'It's finished'," his father supplied. This caused the other man to smile before nodding and gently knocking on the door of Ivan's room. There was no answer so he simply opened the door and stepped inside. Ivan had set the sunflower down in the corner of the room and he, himself sat in the middle of the room, staring at his hard work. "Sunflowers?" the man asked. The wall shown brilliantly with color and many details. The Russian had painted a blue sky that had whit fluffy clouds floating across, and a rich green field with many sunflowers. "I like it Ivan," he said and sat down beside him. Ivan glanced at the man then at the wall, he knew that he should thank the stranger for the paint, but he didn't want to break the silence and they both seemed comfortable just staring at the wall. The teen pulled his knees to his chest and closed his eyes. 'Mom isn't waking up' he thought… but he felt a little better after about this fact.
End Flashback.


     Gently you reached forward and placed a hand on his shoulder. He had been lost in thought so this had startled him; he grabbed your wrist and twisted it into a weird angle. "Ow, Ivan, let go," you gasped and your face scrunched up in pain. His purple eyes widened a bit and he quickly released you. "Prastee meenya pozhalosta," apologized Ivan. Lightly you rubbed your wrist. "You keep zoning out on me, is there something bothering you?" you asked, keeping your hands firmly in your lap now. He blinked, not used to having someone worry about him. When he was younger people had worried about him but as he grew he had just become more cold and frightening, now people simply feared him, not worry about him. He rested his hands on the desk in front of him, he figured that it was finally his chance to tell someone about his past. "When I was younger, my mother had a sunflower garden and she gave me one of the flowers one day. It made me happy, she always worked so hard in that garden and taught me all she knew about sunflowers. When I was five though, my mother died, murdered by someone… I still don't know who murdered her but I have a suspect," he said. You frowned and gently covered your mouth with your hands, that was so terribly sad that you were sure that you would cry. "I went to live with my father afterwards; he provided the essentials for me to live. Sometimes he beat me, so I learned to block everything out," he said simply as if it were very common for such things to happen. Tears sprang to your eyes and you quickly stood up.

She's crying for me… how strange but it kind of makes me feel better.. not so lonely and sad.

     "Bad things happen to people and sometimes the world really isn't a good place, but by blocking it out like you do, you miss the great and wonderful things about the world," you tell him, tears streaming down your face. Before he could react, you had made you way around the desk and had pulled the sad Russian into a hug. "There are many beautiful things, such as sunflowers. You just have to open yourself up to them again Ivan…" you whispered in his ear, now understanding why the Russian was so cold and distant. Gently you stroked his hair and Ivan's purple eyes widened.

She is very nice, Da? Maybe she is one of the wonderful things in the world she had mentioned? Plus… she doesn't seem scared of me like the other countries are..this is nice

     "Ivan, you may be many things but you are not alone. You may be sad, but never alone. I'll help you. I want you to see how wonderful the world can be and I want you to smile," you whispered, still stroking his hair. Ivan closed his eyes and smiled, though you didn't see it since you were stroking his hair and looking at his desk. "I think sunflowers make you both happy and sad because of your mother, but you keep them as a reminder that someone really did care about you and loved you so very much," you tell him with certainty. The Russian sighed and relaxed in your hold, gently he rested his hands against your arms that were around him.

I'm not alone, ___ says so and she is going to prove it…

     Russia smiled up at you, a natural smile rather than his fake, indifferent ones. You blinked in surprise and blushed under his gaze. "Become one with Russia, Da?" he asked. Your face went a darker shade of red and you pulled your arms away from him. "W-What?" you sputter and tilted your head at him. A laugh, an actual laugh escaped his lips then. "Become one with Russia, Da?" he repeated.

This is happiness, Da.